Divorce is Not a New Norm… It has Reasons Behind

Divorce is Not a New Norm… It has Reasons Behind

Divorce was taboo even 10, 15 years back. But it is becoming a new norm/normal of our society. According to a rough estimate, the divorce rate has increased 10- 15 % from past years (start of the 21st century). This is an alarming situation. We don’t know the reasons behind this situation.  Is this just because of women’s empowerment or in-laws’ interference in a couple‘s life? Let’s analyze this together.

The first and major reason, mostly suggested, is women’s empowerment. Usually, elders in our society and especially the males of our society have the opinion that women/girls of this age don’t want to obey anyone. They are not ready to compromise in their married life. They just want things in their style or according to their own choice otherwise they quit. They don’t put effort to save the marriage.  I think this statement is a bit exaggerated. Yes in the 21st-century girls are not ready to sacrifice themselves for a lifetime but they want a happy and peaceful home with their husbands for sure. What I have observed is just that girls are NOT ready to give abnormal space to their husbands. In the past girls were taught to save their marriage at each cost. Girls of the current era have learned that they are also human beings. They are not ready to tolerate physical abuse or mental torture or their husband’s extramarital relationships etc. They are taught to take a stand for themselves. Males, unluckily, have the same mindset that wives should tolerate and take all responsibility for a happy marriage.

The mindset of males and in-laws also plays a vital role in a couple’s life. In the past girls used to tolerate the disrespectful behavior of their in-laws. They usually used to ignore their husbands’ behavior. Though believe that in-laws cannot play a significant role in breaking someone’s marriage but it can make the situation worse or we can say that it can provoke any of the two (husband, wife). Family negativity can work as a trigger button in a couple’s life.

Another important reason is the lack of tolerance. We as a nation show intolerance in every field of our life. This intolerance is also affecting a couple’s life. At times, the matter is not so important or negative if we give some time to that. But usually, people try their best to resolve at the very moment. A couple marries for the rest of their life but they don’t want to give time to their marriage. They don’t give the required time and space to each other.

What I feel is this generation is the reaction of previous generations. In past especially 20, 30 years back females were too tolerant. They tolerated all kinds of wrongdoings of their husbands and in-laws and used to show a happy picture of their life. Now girls know that this fakeness will harm their personality. Interestingly, females have learned from their mistakes but males and in-laws mindset is still the same (almost). This is the cause of many differences in marriages nowadays.

In Pakistan, the rate of divorces is increasing in recent years. This is very sad because marriage is an institution that keeps both males and females connected in a sacred way. Sadly, for some people, this is a ‘let’s see’ relationship rather than a ‘lifetime’ relationship. This is alarming for the society.

Courtesy Bridal-elegance

Comparisons and social media is also a reason of disturbance in a couple’s life. Too much updating about one’s life on any social platform or comparing one’s own life with other persons is a very unhealthy attitude. For a really happy couple, this updating can cause evil-eye (which is religiously proven). Some people start comparing their own life with other’s life. This harms their own life as we are unaware of that person’s life. We are watching only what they are showing. We don’t know the struggles, problems, or tragedies of their lives. This social media updates either on Facebook or Instagram page, is affecting celebrities particularly. We are always surprised whenever a celebrity couple gets divorce… especially in Pakistan. Azfar Rehman, Salma, and then the same guy with Naveen Waqar, Shamoon Abbasi with Jaweria abbasi, and then with Humaima Malik, Syra Yousaf with Shehroz Sabzwari, Shaista Lodhi, and many more.

We know that it is correct that girls should never take the burden of happy marriage all alone, boys should also put their sincere efforts as it is a joint venture. Infidelity, domestic abuse should never be tolerated by each of the spouses. Always remember there is no made for each other or perfect match kind of scenario in real life. You have to match each other. The couple has to create compatibility to live a good life. Ups and downs are part of life. Never rush to make a final decision. Learn to differentiate between real life and reel life. Here reel life means social media. The couple should give time and sincere efforts to make the marriage successful.

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